Zumbro 100. One for the books (and the Kleenex).

November 2016: Registered for Zumbro 100.

Pacers! I need to think about pacers! I remember asking people, writing a list of people I wanted to have. Some got knocked out right away, some I didn't even want to bother contacting because I didn't want to get shut down so soon. I kept the list on a back burner for a while until March approached. That way I would feel more prepared.. I thought.

Another winter of training. This was officially my second winter running outside, I loved it. This winter presented it's difficulties of running outside on the trails as it was an icy, rainy winter. The trails were ice rinks, and they were not runnable unless microspikes were used or old shoes with lots of miles on them and screws on the bottom (double ouch).

On the first of the year, Long and I decided to go to Zumbro to ring in the new year, same conditions, and in some cases, shin-deep snow. We did about 13-ish miles and it felt like hours... because it was. Some people say, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", and I changed it to, "what doesn't kill you makes you want to kill the other person". Going to Forager Brewing afterwards in Rochester made it a lot better.

the feel after the first climb in shin deep snow and ice rink conditions 

The rest of the winter was okay. I was happy because my coworker was doing her first ultra: Zumbro 50. I think I convinced her enough to sign up. I still couldn't believe that her first ultra would be Zumbro 50, however I knew that she could do it because naturally, she's badass and genuinely loves running (plus, does triathlons too). Luckily I got to train with her a lot. That's the thing about running, it brings people together. I got to know her a lot better, and we had great conversations, and didn't mind the times we were quiet as well. I was so happy I had a friend to train with, well, besides Long. 

I got train in some really amazing places, this makes the journey memorable too. I got to train in Duluth, South Dakota, and Utah! Thanks Long! 

As Spring was around the corner, I was realizing that I hadn't got a ton of good mileage in. I always feel like I am undertrained and that I am not doing enough. My last long run never happened, and I felt like I was running out of good, quality training time. How frustrating! Especially when running conversations happened and when the "I'm training for 100 miles" came up, they assumed I was putting in a lot of mileage.. which I thought, yes, I should be, but the truth is I wasn't. I remember I was running indoors for 3+ hours on Saturday because of negative temps and I don't do so well in the very, very cold. I also have a very weak immune system, and that every winter I am consistently sick, like clock work, which always knocks out a few weeks of training. 

Fast forward to the week leading up to Zumbro. I was a stress mess. I was stopped at green lights at intersections thinking of all I had to do. I was spacing out. I was looking at my estimated time on UltraSignup and freaking out. It said I would finish two hours AFTER the cut off time. Crap. Really? 

I now realize that this post sounds really really negative. Even though these were all the thoughts and feelings I was having. The most important thing is that I was having fun, regardless of the low mileage or conditions. I remembered what I had learned the previous fall and didn't want to loose sight of it. I had my pacers straightened out, all nutrition ready to go, clothes packed, outfit laid out, I was adapting and prepared. The month leading up to Zumbro, everything about the race felt positive. Talking about it, visualizing it, praying about it. It all felt like it was going to be amazing. I kept checking the weather and the conditions seemed to good to be true! When my friends and family asked how I was feeling about it, I consistently and non-hesitantly said, "Excited, nervous, and ready!" 

April 7, 2017. 

3:30 a.m. Alarm goes off! For breakfast I had eggs (with vegan cheese!), toast with almond butter (latest obsession) and honey, and an orange. I had to put this in here because on the 5th loop of Zumbro, Long and I passed two 100 milers and one said, "I want to have what she had for breakfast!" This made me laugh because not only did I forget what I had, I had no idea what day it was.. or the fact that I haven't had a true meal in quite some time. 

The night before I told my parents I wanted to leave at 4:30. This would give me enough time to check in and use the bathroom 100x before the race starts, and to just relax and talk to friends and go over all the bags of gear I packed and what each one had. We left at 4:45 due to.. well.. my family.. anywho we were off and I was so so happy! I was visualizing the race and enjoying the beautiful early morning. We had my phone gps and map printed. I felt so calm where usually I'm an anxious mess about being late and/or getting lost at some point. About half way we stopped at a gas station, and continued to follow the directions. As we got closer everything started to look familiar. This is great! Oh wait... this didn't. The directions took us to aid station 1/4. Thankfully the sun was out and the signs for the race were at the intersections. We followed them to the start/finish/campground area. We arrived later than I would have liked but I kept reminding myself that the 'adapting' part is applicable to pre race and all areas of life as well. Adapt, adapt, adapt! And stay positive! I did! I was happy to see Long and his mom there already. I checked in (or, so I thought), saw Amy and Alex. It was a chilly morning, and my friends who had camped there the night before told me how cold it got and how all the gear was iced over. Brr! 

I went to the bathroom and got my gear ready. I went over gear with Long, Hoa, mom, and dad. I packed my vest, showed my parents how to mix and pour tailwind, and went off to see friends! I saw Kari and Erik in the distance, and Wendi! Seeing all my friends made me so happy! And Jess! I was talking and staying warm, and in no time, it was 7:45, pre-race briefing! John rose to the top of his ladder, prepared to send us off! Among all the chatter, I heard "Number 11 are you here? Number 68 are you here?" "WHAT!?" I panicked, that's me! I thought I checked in! "Here!" I kept saying, waving my hands. Thankfully those around me pitched in and I was accounted for (but for the record, there is photo evidence of me checking in.. or so I think...?) 

photo credit Robyn Reed

As chilly as it was, I think the adrenaline made me take off my warm up pants in anticipation. The count down started and we were off. It was cold, but I was too excited to care! It was an absolutely gorgeous day. The sun shining, the wind blowing. This was the start of a great journey. I saw Long atop the first climb, drone controller in hand. Mr. Pilot on duty. I waved at the drone, and allowed myself to be in the presence of all these badass runners. I remember being next to Erik R. and Susan D. and being start struck and thinking "woah, trail celebrities". Erik introduced me to Susan as "one of Kari's Pacees.. if that was even a word". I was so star struck, I think I muttered a shy "Hi". before they both ran off. They made it look so effortless! I kept talking to anyone I could, whether it was a short good morning or sharing our trail/ultra experience, it was good to stay in positive spirits with whoever wanted to talk!

Loop one and two felt awesome! The sun was hot and I could tell it was draining some of my energy, but I proceeded to stay on top of fuel and hydration. I had learned my lesson about that! I enjoyed the sights, the people, and especially the volunteers at the aid stations! Rock Steady has the best reputation. I have learned from other races to appreciate a genuinely caring RD and the camaraderie it produces. Caring people magnetically pull caring people. This is the RSR community. I am so thankful for the volunteers at Zumbro, they know exactly what to do and how to care for runners. It was always a party too! Good music, encouragement, compliments (especially from the midday/night shift at Aid Station 2/3).  

The stretch from the Lower Rail Road to the campground was always such a great feeling. Seeing the red RSR flag raised high always made me smile and pick up my pace. As I was finishing up loop 2, I was running next to a man who couldn't wait to change out of his tights into shorts. "Let's get to the start/finish so you can change!" I told him, and it encouraged him to pick up his pace and we ran in together. As we were running in I heard a very recognizable voice call my name. It was Marey! What a sweet surprise! I originally asked her to pace me once I registered in the fall because she is one of the most motivational, inspiring, positive, strong women I know, and that I get the honor of calling a friend. However, life has its way of changing plans, as hers was making her a soon-to-be mom! She still dedicated time out of her busy life to come see me! I ran to her, gave her a hug, and started tearing up! Her and Denali at the second loop lifted my spirits even more! I was so happy to see them! I ate some food, changed my socks, restocked some vest essentials, and thanked everyone! It always comes so naturally to be thankful at these events because everyone is so selfless. Volunteers and crew members alike catered to my every need. I felt like a dirt/salt crusted princess chewing on gummy bears and sipping ginger ale. 

Denali and her sweet momma Marey! pc: Fresh Tracks Media

Loop 3! My goal was to think about the positivity and opportunity I would have with Julio. I packed a headlamp knowing it would get dark on this loop, and a jacket because it was also going to get cold. I loved the idea of having three different pacers for each of the three final loops. I loved thinking about the conversations we would have and how different each loop would feel. For now I had to focus on this loop. 

The conditions throughout Friday were ideal! The trails were mostly dry, which is such a gift for Zumbro, being a consistently cold, muddy race. As the sun was setting and the breeze was picking up, I was getting cold, fast. I knew I had to start bundling up, and I knew I had a long sleeve shirt waiting for me at 2/3. I took out my headlamp and jacket, along with some buffs. I was cozy up top but my legs were still out in the cold. I should have listened to my dad and brought pants with me. Parents are always right, always. 

 I spent a long time at aid station 2/3 as I wanted to warm up and bundle up, and change out of my sweaty shirt. I loved that aid station. They kept complimenting me on how much I smiled every time I came in, and how calm and composed I looked. "Do you need anything?" they asked, like clockwork every time I came in. "More compliments are always appreciated!" I said back. They sang "I'm awesome!" and changed it to "You're awesome!" as I was eating and leaving the aid station. They always knew how to keep the smile on my face. Before I knew it I was with Julio. I was so happy to have someone to be with. As many times as I was in said stations or around others, it was a very solo journey on Friday, for a majority of it. Singing to myself always keeps my mind occupied. "Work" by Rihanna seemed to be my brains go-to, and "Just around the river bend" was another. Thanks Disney. I spent time changing into warmer clothes in the tent my parents had set up. I went to the bathroom, ate some food, and was off. I was using my trekking poles at this point because the climbs were getting tougher. I had trained with them previously and they help me tremulously while climbing. Julio and I were off! We communicated right away with what I needed from him as a pacer. I told him I needed him to keep spirits up, to tell me stories and to have conversations, and to make sure I was eating and drinking. He was and is an amazing pacer. He was fresh as a daisy, and he loved running at night, this was perfect. He was so good at keeping me on pace, laughing, and we had great conversations. I was on top of eating and drinking (and previously on the third loop, I found out I couldn't do any more solid foods as I tried to chew a sandwich and my mouth wouldn't allow me to swallow it). We leap-frogged Wendi and Kari a few times during the night, they were both looking so strong! About eight miles in, I also remember standing to the side of the trail as the fresh 50 milers sprang past us, and one of them happened to be Jess! She stopped to give me a hug, she looked refreshed and happy! We exchanged greetings and I watched her fly up the incline. I was a little jealous of her energetic flight, but I also was smiling watching her take on this chapter of her life so naturally and effortlessly!

One of the best and memorable conversations I had with him was about the word 'crazy'. I asked him if I could get his opinion on something. If you haven't met Julio, you should introduce yourself. He is amazing and is very good at listening and has a natural way of connecting people, as people want to connect with him. I asked him what it meant when people say "that's crazy", as in when I told anyone I was training for 100 miles, they called me or it "crazy". For some reason, I took offense to it, thinking that when people didn't understand something, they can categorize it and label it as crazy. It bothered me for months. I am so glad I asked Julio. He told me he took it as a compliment. He said that people use the word crazy as in admiration and awe. it's badass! I was in shock in the best way. I love hearing other people's opinions and keeping an open mind, because it is only then I can adapt to new frames of mind. This elevated me, knowing how many people I talked to before Zumbro who told me what I was doing was crazy. It gave me a new found confidence knowing I was doing something crazy! I loved it! The next thing I knew we were on the slow incline close to Aid Station 1/4. I made little goals to run to one reflective marker to the next and then fast hike. At one point we discussed we would run to a blue reflective sign, and we ran past it, because we both didn't see it while running towards it. We joked we both were delusional and hallucinated it! He kept me on pace as my watch died through the night (I forgot to tell Long I needed the battery pack, but then again everything happens for a reason).

The fourth loop flew by! I felt great! I thanked Julio and he gave me words of encouragement and told me he might not see me finish but knew I would! Next thing I knew I was leaving Julio and running with Long! He had a busy Friday already, with many miles of running all while taking photo and video footage. I wanted to make sure he kept everything in balance as I really depended on him for this loop. We talked about food, the night, his experience, and how happy I was to be with him. After we climbed the first steep climb, this is when the night and being up all day Friday and at night caught up to me. I was struggling to keep my eyes open and to keep hiking in a semi- straight, well- postured fashion. Long encouraged me to briskly hike (a.k.a walk faster as it would help keep me awake). It worked in ebbs and flows, but it wore off fast. I then hallucinated a beautiful tray of assorted cookies of different variety, I let out a very audible "mmmmmm" while looking directly at the ground. Still not sure if Long knew or not.. 

I was on my second headlamp as well, my first headlamp was done from Friday night into Saturday morning. I was a bit bummed because the headlamp is comfy and bright. I was on my spare one which wasn't as good but got the job done. Long kept saying the sun would be up soon and sure enough it was. It was still cold like the night and early morning, and I was still pretty bundled until the sun came up, because with all the climbs I would sweat more underneath all my layers. The temperature consistently flowed from hot to cold, so I always decided to keep layers on rather than keep taking them on and off. Long was great at keeping my spirits high. I still remember leaving Aid Station 1/4, after crossing the bridge and heading up yet another climb, reaching the top I started to tear up (I cried a lot during this journey, out of happiness and knowing how much pain I was in but how bad I wanted this). I told Long that this race, this chapter in my life is all I wanted this year, and it was true. It was my only written goal for 2017. He knew I would do it. This motivated me to pick up my pace. The crazy part is, besides how I almost sleepwalked the first part of the 5th loop, I had not been through a 'low point' during the race. I looked forward to the night, the pacers I would be with, all of it. My positivity was so consistent and my mentality was spot on. I was strong mentally and physically. It's funny how on the course I was doing the exact same thing 6 times, but never was I negative about being bored or remembering any one particular section in a negative light. It was all new, fresh, exciting, and done in love (except loop 6 ant hill, curse you ant hill). 

Loop 5 was over! I was glad my watch was dead, otherwise at this point I would be an anxious mess about cutoff times, etc. etc. However, my mindset was still celebrating every mile, every aid station, and going through my favorite sections (I have two, hobbit trail and the downhill before the slowly inclining road to aid station 4). 

crossing the bridge to Aid Station 4. Loop 5.

This was it! loop 6! I was tearing up quite a bit thinking that Kari was going to pace me to my first 100 mile finish, as I did for her at her first 100 miler in 2015. She is my inspiration and reason I am doing all these ultras. She introduced me to this community and sparked this new found love for running, trails, and ultras. Plus, meeting and getting to know her has been the best. She is one of the most badass, beautiful, caring, hard-working, selfless women I know! Plus she can always cheer me up and has the best stories. I was excited for the victory loop, however the heat and the fact that I had been on my feet since early Friday was catching up to me. Kari is so encouraging and sweet while making sure I was drinking and eating, but mostly drinking, since I told her the heat was getting to me and it was getting the best of my physically and mentally. She took my picture at the top of the first climb overlooking the campground, it is a beautiful, iconic Zumbro spot. I was happy she was documenting it. She kept telling me how strong I was and how awesome I am. Every time she said something encouraging I would say thanks and repeat in my head, "Yes, you ARE awesome" "Yes, you ARE strong!" I loved having Kari pace me. Just watching her move and knowing all she has done and accomplished was like being in a parade. A few points in the victory loop I told her I hated being anxious about cutoff time but I had to get it off my chest, I told her I was worried about it. She was very reassuring that we had plenty of time, but we had to keep moving. I couldn't help at times but feel really really slow. She assured me every time, which kept spirits high. At aid station 2, I was getting a little out of it. I was struggling to stand up as I was not drinking enough. Kari kept me on track with drinking since and my emotions ebbed and flowed. 

Atop the first climb: iconic Zumbro overlook pc: Kari Gibbons

This is the moment that sticks out the most in my race. We were climbing up the Picnic rock section, and Kari asked how I was doing. This time, I hit my low. The heat got to me, my feet got to me (up until this point I was convincing myself my feet were made of squishy playdoh which worked for a time). I told her the truth, sounding defeated, I said "Hot... I don't know". I finished the climb and she said that this would be a good place to stop and take in the view and catch my breath. I drank some fluids while Kari pulled out her phone. "I have something to show you". She started playing a video. Long appeared. I instantly teared up once I heard the opening lines, "Hi Michelle, hey honey, this is the surprise." He made a video for me, and not just any video. He made a video of all the people who were there with me and far away who all had a message for me. I was in tears. Kari and I stood close to picnic rock, crying. I was listening to my mom, dad, sister (and Rush), my Aunt Kerry, Jess, Kari, Julio,  Cam, and Long tell me how proud they were of me and that they believed in me. I'm crying again as I write this, because of how much they believed in me and how they all carried me through the race, and I knew a lot of them were waiting for me closer than I thought. The video finished with Long reaffirming that there was a whole team of people that believe in me and that they were waiting for me at the finish line. He told me to run with my heart when everything was hurting. Kari said that even though she was the one who got me into this community, it was flipped, and I inspired her all over again. These words, these caring, loving, amazing people I get to call family and friends, believed in me. To hear the words "I believe in you" after struggling for miles filled my heart with such love, I cried and told Kari we better get to them. I remember my dad in the video saying that what I was doing was nothing short of amazing, and that when I get to the finish line to look around and take it in. I thank God to have the parents I do who love and support me through all of my life journeys, and the boyfriend and friends who stood by me, changed my socks, touched my feet, gave me food, paced me, and pulled me through the finish. Not to mention how Long's mother, who speaks little English, so quickly came to help and crew for me, stayed awake, made me food, and watched intently at every loop. That is love. Kari's amazing mother was also there! We thought we heard her cowbell in the distance! I was so happy to see her! And of course, the sweet Amica! I saw sooooo many beautiful dogs out at Zumbro, they definitely made me smile and made me pick up my pace (and no time restraint will ever keep me from stopping to pet them and say hello). 

We were at the Lower Rail Road section, the last short section before seeing the gate for the Campground/Start/Finish line. I joked that I couldn't wait to brush my teeth as the first thing I did when I finished, Long was waiting with his camera, documenting the stretch from the gate to the finish. I was so happy. So so happy. Running in after hours upon hours of staying awake, of consistently moving. I heard cowbells and distant and close cheers. My name was being cheered! I saw Jess and her husband, friends, crew members, Kari's mom, Fred, My parents, friends, Kari, Long. This was it. I blew Kari a kiss as I crossed the mat. This was it. I was presented the medal, belt buckle, and a cup of water. I was greeted first by my parents with hugs and teary eyes. We exchanged words and hugs and more hugs and tears were shared. Pictures were taken, and I gave my crew medals of their own. They did such thankless jobs that deserve more praise. I then got to sign my name on the large Zumbro 100 finishers banner. Try writing your name after running 100 miles, my handwriting was horrible. "I swear I'm not drunk" I remember saying. I celebrated with family and friends at the finish. I sat and smiled because I was so so happy! I did what I set out to do, and it would not have been possible without the amazing care and dedication of Kari, Long, Julio, Hoa, Mom, Dad, Rhende, Marey, Denali, Amica, Jess, Skyler, the volunteers, and everyone who came to cheer! 

Done! Crossed the finish line! Pc: Rhende

Celebrating with the boyfriend of many hats!

When the emotional floodgates let loose, love you Kari! 

Thank you all for believing in me and staying with me on this journey and letting me write this chapter in my life. Every moment and prayer leading up to this point has been nothing but positive when reflecting back at Zumbro and getting prepared for it in mind and body. You will definitely see Long and I at the remaining Rock Steady events this year as we are Fresh Tracks Media! As for the rest of my year, I am still debating over a 'comeback' Wild Duluth , and I will be at Voyageur! Until then, I am going recover, enjoy the chapter of Zumbro that includes the recovery part and the eating, and the slow start back into running again. I have since had post run depression in waves, and again I am beyond blessed by the same people who support me day in and day out. 

Cheers to 100! 2017, you've been pretty awesome so far. Excited to see what else you bring! 

-Doe