Through Thick: Wild Duluth 100k 2017

"But have you ever raced before?" Long asked as we sat eating our brunch the day after Grand Traverse. Without much thought or hesitation, I knew what my answer was, and he did too. I've always been comfortable with being comfortable, in some sense. 

October 16, it's the week of Wild Duluth. I had a whole years worth of preparation to step up my mental and physical game. I had completed Zumbro 100 in April which went so smoothly I still can't believe it at times, and my second Voyageur with about 10 miles of training leading up to it, that race was the definition of running with your heart. These milestones are pocketed and used as tools to help me mentally and physically push my limits. 

Life has its way of throwing curve balls, knowing when the things you care most about or have had a long time to prepare for be suddenly shaken at its foundations. This was what the week leading up to Wild Duluth felt like. I was heartbroken, stressed, angry, and shocked to put it lightly. I spent many drives to work crying asking why. Isn't that always the question when bad things happen? Why. Why now. Why this exact week when the can of evil worms has to be opened. At the same time, I have never been shown so much encouragement and support leading up to a race, people cheering, praying for me, and giving me the confidence knowing I'd make it this year. I'm one blessed lady to know so many amazing and supportive people.

Nevertheless, She Persisted. Motto for this run.

October 20. Packet pick up and dinner at Duluth Grille (always a good call). Went to bed early and slept the best I had all week. The drive up to Duluth acts like a barrier from my reality in the cities to a world where none of my realities live, only a destination where I can focus on being out on the trail and appreciate my surroundings and the people I'm with. There's something about Duluth that feels like a safe haven where I can forget all the stress associated with my life. It's beautiful. 

October 21. Alarm at 4 a.m. to eat breakfast and coffee compliments of my mom who was here for the weekend to be my awesome crew. At 5:15 we headed out the door to the start. The air was warm and a light rain had started, which the forecast called for on and off all day. For how hot and humid it was I welcomed the rain.

Bayfront festival park was alive with ultra runners ready to tackle one of the toughest 100k's, and for the Gnarly Bandits, this was the cherry on top: the final event of the series! After completing four of the toughest 100 mile races: these people are rockstars. I had a lot of excited/nervous energy, as I knew what this race was like from last year and I knew in my heart this year was already different. I was going to finish, no questions asked. Long was running this year too and Jess was going to pace me: dream team! As I was waiting for the race briefing, I had some people approach me as the race director had posted my Wild Duluth story on the website from the year before. I'm happy it stuck with people and can give people encouragement to keep fighting even in the face of defeat. The RD even came over to talk to me about the video as well, he reassured me I'd finish this year. 

Pre-race briefing and a walk to the start line, the course was going to be marked with pink and reflective markers, which was already a huge improvement from last year (where I got lost... more than once... trail newbie!). 5-4-3-2-1 GO! The race director ran with us on the first part of the paved section, then recorded the runners heading up to Enger Tower. It was s hot and humid day, a flash back to last year sans sun and humidity. This year I knew how to combat it, and the rain helped a lot. 

My legs felt like lead the first few miles. "Will they feel like this the whole time?!" "Am I undertrained?!" I checked my breathing, it as heavy, the first few miles are all climbing. Long was not out of view... "Am I going out too fast? I should scale back... no... I shouldn't scale back... that was my downfall last year." At one point he realized I wasn't far behind him. We ran together for a bit and he reminded me that I got to run my own race and to not go out too fast. I agreed, but secretly and possibly selfishly I wanted to run with him all day. Running in Duluth with him, no matter the setting or race, made it feel like a fun training run. I kept thinking he'd dart off at one point, saying encouraging words before flying downhill. I think we were both surprised at how well we were running with each other. 

Some runners behind us were talking about how awesome the Fall Superior video was, this made me smile. That video was our best production to date. The conversations in front of me and behind me after tat point were about hunting and death of family dogs... I wanted nothing more than to take off running negative splits. Thankfully the bottleneck thinned out and soon enough we were on our own little adventure among a rather large mission. 

We were in good spirits with excellent communication, laughter, and shouting. Long has a way of making everything fun, even ultras. I allowed myself to be in the present, to allow every step to be accounted for, every mile a victory. This was the first time I wasn't doing mental math subtracting the miles I had left to tackle. 

Aid stations flew by, because Long didn't let me linger at all. In and out of each, we were on some unseen schedule where I didn't even pick up food. Long is very good (insanely good) at making problems/issues I may have during an ultra seem like they are no big deal, which I cannot describe how appreciate I am of this, because I am very good at being in my own head to an extent of amplifying my problems to an exaggerated degree. When I voice a problem I am facing (hunger, breathing, something hurting), he says how it will get better or fixed, and I'd say 95% of the time, he's spot on. 

Rain would pour and subside the first half of the race, not leaving the trails too terribly muddy and ripped up.. yet.

The climb up Ely's feels like it takes forever. Hopping from one rock formation to the next, watching to see when the next blue blaze would appear on the rocks. As we were descending, I saw Heidi in front of me. We gave each other the biggest hug, and we both simultaneously stared to cry. The week leading up to this moment, all the stress of our personal lives collided. Heidi is so strong, stronger than I have ever known. In the face of personal and communal adversity, she persisted. I am so freaking proud of her. Shortly after our encouragement was shared, I took a spill while descending. I probably looked like a baby deer learning how to walk. I was in good spirits after being uplifted by Heidi. 

Soon we were on the flat surface over the bridge heading over to the next aid station. Long pulled off to the side while I continued to make my way over. I ran next to a guy who was wearing a Patagonia hat that I also owned and almost wore to race in. I complimented his hat and told him that I almost wore mine. He said he got a lot of crap for wearing it (it was a blue floral hat). I told him it’s awesome and that if he likes it, who cares!

Aid stations and miles flew by, rain started and stopped, the mud and puddles became harder to avoid and getting off trail was easy to do at some points.

In and out of an aid station! PC: My mom

There was a 50k runner that ran past us, and he was counting the number of 100k runners in order. He saw us and either said 23,24, or 25… and that I was the third female. What? No I don’t think so. I brushed it off in time not to get to my head. Remembering to run my own race and not focus on what place I was in.

With all the rain and exposed power line hills, no amount of traction would get you up. We watched as Erik skied down, then, with Long trying to follow his lead, ended up with a muddy backside. "Just slide down on you butt." He yelled back to be at the bottom of the first slope. No questions asked, I slid. I laughed at how ridiculous and fun this all was. The struggle was climbing back up. We tried grabbing neighboring bushes, only to leave us with hands full of thorns (ouch). As I was breathing hard, I remember I got enough air to yell out, "F**K MUD!" which ended up in more laughter.

We flew to the half way point. I have never felt so strong or pain free during an ultra. Flash back to last year, and I vividly remember struggling to get to the half way point, watching my friends fly past me making their way to the finish. I knew that the prayers and support of my friends were there. I cried once I saw the bricks leading up to the turnaround. The cheers of the station were loud, and I had never seen so many people at this aid station before, it was a party! The cheers and support were incredible! I was so happy to be here. 

It was.. muddy. PC: Kari Gibbons

A quick dump of my garbage, restocking my vest, refueling, and Kari pulling out the sliver in my thumb that made my hand feel tingly (ouch) and we were back off! I don’t think I have felt this good at a half way point at a race… ever! I  felt on top of the world, until I actually started moving again.

Trying to get sliver out.. well.. one of many PC: Kari Gibbons

My stomach was acting up, as it usually does during these events. I tried to brush it off. I think I added too much salt to that little potato. Time for water, and soon the pain subsided. The pain was replaced by a tightness in my lungs. I felt like my vest was too tight. Nope, not the culprit. I tried taking in deep breaths. Every time I did, I would cough, shit. This was not the time to worry about breathing or the fact that it hurt to breathe. I focused on breathing by expanding my stomach, to mentally alleviate and chest or lung tightness. It helped to some degree. Mental note: grab inhaler at next stop.  

With the amount of rain and runners, the terrain became more and more difficult to run on. Deep mud not only held on to shoes, but any forward motion turned into slipping to one side or the other. I felt like I was running in place, and that running required more effort and energy that was better spent power walking. This is where the miles got longer.

Round two of the power lines, we meet again, mud monster! More mud and less traction than the previous round. The aid station at the end of the power lines also served as a way to try and get some of the mud off. All the food was covered in mud. There was no point in trying to eat muddy food or muddy beverages (except for the few chips that I deemed ‘clean’ which, looking back, were not every clean... RIP aid station food).

I started to wonder if I could pick up Jess at 40… or was it 43… either way, it was my mission to get to her and to keep going. I couldn’t imagine her not running and her spending this weekend to only watch me fail and not want to continue on. I had to finish this year to make this weekend worth everyone’s time and efforts. These races are no solo effort, but a collective of kind hearted, selfless friends who want nothing more than their friend to have the glory of the finish line (and any sweet swag that comes with it). 

Yes! We made it to Jess. I got fresh socks that made my feet feel like they won the lottery (after going bankrupt all morning and afternoon in the mud and rain… the recipe for blisters!) I also grabbed my trekking poles. This would help me climb, stay upright, and add much needed stability in the muddy conditions. We were off! The trio dream team. I loved that Long was still with me and now Jess was along for the wild ride! This was her first time in Duluth and on the SHT. I loved thinking about this, and the fact that she would be on it in these extreme conditions, badass pacer! It was here that I started hitting a low that I would ride for the remainder of the race. I would ask Jess questions to distract the low that was happening. It didn’t work. I was miserable and nothing was helping. We ascended Ely for the second time. I felt like a klutz operating my trekking poles. They were slippery on the rocks and I was loosing strength in my lower body. Every climb from here to the finish was done with short, heavy breaths and a lot of coughing, and stopping to catch my breath. There were times I felt like I was going to pass out.

The Trio sets off for Ely! PC: Marcus Taintor

Jess took my picture a few times, she said we were badass and it looked like we were wearing mud tights. This made me laugh as I knew how muddy I was. 

The rain and the mud persisted, my low never got better. Jess played Beyonce’s ‘Formation’, which gave me a little more drive as I mouthed the words. To Jess’ recollection, I guess I told some rocks to get in formation. I also changed the words to "the rocks were formed by glacial formation." 

Mud tights and climbing heights. PC: Jessica 

Long describes the rest of the journey as him playing the ‘bad cop’ while Jess played the ‘good cop’. She was encouraging and helpful, while he would tell me to give it my all and to pick up my pace. I didn’t want to listen to anyone, but agreed to whatever they were telling my in hopes they’d stop saying it. That is, until one point when Long said I had to pick up my pace. I mumbled a “why?!” under my breath. He said it again, and I let out what sounded like a kid responding to not getting something they wanted, “WWWHHHYYYY!?” (I don’t remember what happened after that but I do remember being crabby and whiny).

As the night went on, Jess asked me if I wanted to listen to Taylor Swift’s ‘Shake it Off’. I told her NO clearly. That was the end of that. Full-blown crabby whiny pants (or mud tights). 

I would see lights up ahead, and think that we were at an aid station, only to be let down by knowing they were neighboring houses. This made me mad. Where were the stations? I hadn’t seen one in what felt like hours. I asked many times throughout the night if we were okay for time. They reassured me that we were good, but had to keep moving forward at a good pace.

Jess played more Beyonce. “Who run the world? GIRLS!” The lyrics changed quickly from girls to squirrels, and me talking about how squirrels could run the world if they all gathered together.

There were multiple times that my headlamp would dim, and I would assume it was dying. Two theories: I was somehow turning the settings or it was actually dying. It could have also been squirrels. 

Aid stations became a blur, continuing to move forward was becoming more painful and more of a struggle.  I felt badass seeing my breath in the light of my headlamp, with the rain distorting it. In reality, I was an overheated, crabby, whiny mess. Long pushed me saying there was a cutoff at the last aid station. The climbs became more brutal, my breathing quickened and was harder to catch. There was no way in this muddy, fresh hell that I was going to let a cutoff time dictate my life again. Here we go. This was running angry. Time to get in a rhythm and stay with it. Letting all the anger and frustration fuel my drive. Thinking of the words I had wrote on my shoe guide me. I thought of my friends and their power to push in the face of adversity. I thought about these two, wonderful human beings by my side guiding me to the finish. We were going home. We made it to the last aid station. We were going to do this. I used the port-a-potty, relieved I had time to, and we made our way down.

“What should we do for an hour?” Long joked with us. I mentioned something about finishing and eating food and a hot shower. We had an hour left and I wanted nothing more than to be done, but there was this feeling that I could stay with these two forever, running endlessly. 

We stopped together to ring the peace bell with all hands on deck and with a 1-2-3, we rang it, and the sound was beautiful! This will be a memory I will hold on to for a lifetime. Last year, I stopped to ring it on the way up. I mentioned it would sound even better on the way back. To make it to this point with Jess and Long was nothing short of amazing. We were heading to the finish!

I thanked them both for carrying me through this race. They truly shaped it and made it what it was, and that they carried me out of my lowest low. I cannot express my gratitude towards them enough. 

The road sections hurt, but the thought of running to the finish made it hurt less. We picked up our pace, and in the distance, cheers were heard in the forefront, and in the background the peace bell could be heard every few minutes by runners celebrating.

Over the highway and towards the lights. I was taking it all in. This is what it was all about! Getting through the lows to experience the joy of the finish.

It was beautiful, the Bentleyville lights were on, so colorful and welcoming. I couldn’t stop smiling. I couldn’t have been more alive, more happy, more thankful for this moment. We did it, together.

I got my hugs, hat, and mug. I did what I set out to do a year later, and it feels so good, amidst all the changing variables throughout the day.

I was also awarded a pint glass for winning my age group. What!? Me?! Did they get my age right!? I thought I would fall over. This was the comeback I had envisioned, yet it was so much more.

TOP: Age Group Division Champion! Still don't know what age group I'm in...BOTTOM: race bib, glass, finishes mug, hat. 

I didn’t sleep at all that morning (we got back around 1:00 a.m. and by the time I was done cleaning up and eating it was around 2-3 in the morning), as the pain in my body was strong, but my heart was full. The reward for giving my all, for racing, for giving all I had, was worth every step and every painful breath.

I am thankful for this experience. I learned to not suppress negative emotions during a race, but to use them, to let them fuel my run. To shout and be goofy, to not take myself so seriously. To run with all I have and to not hold back. To run with a thankful heart in the midst of the lowest lows.

What worked well: 

-Clif beet pouches

-Tailwind: Orange and Berry flavor: Caffeinated Raspberry was a no go! Gross. 

-Water

-2-3 Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Jelly Bars

-salted potatoes

-potato chips

-trekking poles: Black Diamond Distance Z Poles 

-Shoes: Salomon S/Lab Sense Ultra 

-Amazing pacer

-Beyonce

-Headlamp (I think)

-Vest: Salomon S/Lab Sense Ultra 8 Set, perfect size and very comfortable.

- Balega Ultralight quarter- I have so many pairs of these socks- love them. 

What didn't work so well:

-Taylor Swift 

-solid food

-My skort (RIP, got a rather large gaping hole in it on the powerlines... through the shorts part)

-keeping my feet dry

-carbonated beverages

Here’s to a year of learning, 2017 isn't over yet. 

See you soon Hitchcock.